Buddhist Thoughts on Humor

Laughter and a sense of humor can be a universal index of spiritual development. Scientists in Japan, explained that wholehearted laughter is good for your heart and your health in general.

Use self-effacing humor with humility. Practice letting everything in with acceptance and a lack of fragility. By not taking yourself too seriously you are less likely to get wounded.

This type of humor builds trust, leveling everyone in the room. With humor we can let go of our tight gripping sense of who we are. It breaks down the social barriers that separate us. It does not belittle but uplifts us, allows us to recognize and laugh about our shared humanity, about our shared vulnerabilities, and our shared frailties. Life is hard and laughter is how we come to terms with all the ironies, cruelties and uncertainties that we face.

Humor is something that you can cultivate. Like anything else, it is a skill. It helps if you have the inclination, or if you can laugh at yourself. It’s about humility. Laugh at yourself and don’t be pompous or serious. If you start looking for the humor in life, you will find it. You will stop asking, Why me? and start recognizing that life happens to all of us. It makes everything easier, including your ability to accept others and accept all that life brings.

THE TRUTH OF GROUNDLESSNESS

Groundlessness is the largest truth we come to through years of meditation. We avoid groundlessness by pushing away and grasping throughout our life. Mental activity is our way out. We indulge in planning, constantly trying to get somewhere, believing that once we arrive it will stay that way. We are wired to do everything we can to gain predictability and familiarity. It is how we seek happiness. Instead of locking into a plan, can we rest in spaciousness? Fear can be destabilizing. Can we abide in the fear with interest and curiosity rather than filling the space with habitual patterns that take you out of the present moment? When we avoid the groundlessness of life we miss out on the freedom it brings.

Compassion means letting go of self-identity

Fear makes you self-absorbed. If you are self-absorbed you get brittle and mean. If you are mad or fearful you can’t be compassionate. Compassion will come naturally when you feel completely safe. Just noticing the fear invites it to leave. Being compassionate means the war in your head is over.

Compassion is present when you let go of your self-identity. Let go of making yourself the center if the world by thinking, “what I want is not more important than the benefit of the whole community.” With true compassion everyone enjoys the same benefits. Applying wisdom to the compassion means not holding on to the way things “should” be.

Kindness and caring will help us overcome all obstacles. The transformation starts with ourselves. We need to give ourselves the love, kindness, forgiveness and the space to transform.

Boston Dharma Punx meets weekly at the Lutheran Church, 66 Winthorp St, Cambridge, MA on Sundays from 4:00-5:30. Check our web site for updates.

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Accountability Without Animosity

You can’t be an effective agent of change if you are angry. But you can’t just stuff down your anger either. You need to notice it and process it. Only then can you move forward in a positive way.

Think about what kind of results you want. You can practice accountability without animosity by holding the person accountable but giving them a way out. How can you get the results you want without backing yourself and the person into corners, behaving in a way that keeps you farther from your goals?

In the words of Thich Nhat Hanh “If someone is being unpleasant towards you or treating you badly, that means that they are unhappy. Accept that they are unhappy and treat them with love. Offer kindness without feeling superior, self-righteous, arrogant or smug. Do it with humility. Doing Metta meditation for them will help you internalize and truly experience your love.”

Freedom

The present is the only moment where you can choose freedom….. The freedom not to be controlled by habitual patterns and social conditioning. Being present and seeing your patterns and knowing you have agency over them.

Be present and make a conscious choice with understanding will bring you a moment of freedom. And…. there is freedom in forgiving yourself from bad choices you’ve made.

We we are constantly falling short of where we want to be so if you can’t forgive yourself, you don’t really have a Buddhist practice.

Letting Go

Sometimes we don’t know what we need to let go of in order to move forward. Lean into what you are feeling. Often there is comfort in knowing what is behind the feeling.  If not, accept it and apply compassion and tenderness for yourself and others. Labeling the feeling is often enough to cause it to dissipate. When feeling returns, label it again with compassion and forgiveness. Repeat. Soon it will be just a part of who you are…. your friend, that you fully accept with love and understanding.

Why Do I Meditate?

I meditate because I want my brain to leave me alone.  Meditation makes everything seems less important. I don’t mean everything is less important than meditation. I mean the barrage and complexity of everyday tasks lessen in importance. They can get overwhelming and it’s hard to sort out their hierarchy. Then the judging mind comes rushing in followed by paralyzing doubt. Meditating helps to let go of evaluating everything. One realizes that stress and anxiety don’t have to accompany every task. All we really have is the here and now, and the here and now experience is greatly affected by our own minds. There is immense relief when the thinking mind falls back from consciousness and the sensations of the moment become all there is. Everything can change and is changing every minute. It is within our power.

The Thinking Mind and The Process of Meditation

"Most people assume that thinking is a virtue and the zenith of human creativity but fail to appreciate that worry, fear and anxiety are thinking operating at an intensified vibration. Everyone knows how difficult it is to stop thinking when agitation or intense feelings arise, as any emotional disturbance fuels the thinking process. Unless someone is prepared to stop thinking or daydreaming in the good times, it will be impossible to halt the thinking momentum when difficulties arise. 

To master the thinker is the most challenging task of the spiritual process. It does, however, yield great self-knowledge and clarity when the practice becomes second nature and the mind becomes obedient to the power of a superior intelligence. In the process of mastering the thinker, it’s important to understand the psychology of thought. A single thought is not thinking. Random images are unavoidable so it’s to be vigilant and consciously alert so as not to allow the next frame to move. The thought will disappear when consciously present in the senses. Once the idea of this is grasped and someone sees in their own experience how effective this is, there’s a much greater sense of being in command of the inner space. Then, when it’s necessary to take some practical action in the world, the mind will function with much greater efficiency, and afterwards obediently return to a state of neutrality.    

The main difficulty is commitment to the discipline of being still. The human mind fears stillness even though it may appear to co-operate for a while, especially in the early stages. Once it grasps you’re serious, however, it’s amazing the range of plausible excuses it makes to avoid making time to be still. The mind has become habitually attached to the momentum of thinking as a means to safeguard its aversion to stillness. This is because the mind equates the state of inner peace as the ultimate dread and fear. The spiritual liberation that everybody yearns to realise is none other than the state of no thought. When this state can be contained and integrated as a way of being, the whole perspective of what it means to be a man or woman of the earth is radically changed. 

The solution to mastering the thinker is the purification of inner space. Whenever the demands of the self are transcended, a little piece of space within the subconscious is reclaimed. This creates, over a period of time, a perimeter of purified space that is impenetrable to negative thoughts and emotions, not unlike a castle moat which prevents the intrusion of any hostile forces. As intelligence dissociates from identifying with erroneous thoughts and memory impressions, the perception is actually withdrawing from the thinking band of the human psyche into the pure psyche, where any unnecessary mental association is transcended. "

www.lancekelly.co.uk

Intentions and Goals

Intentions are more forgiving than goals. Intentions are a process of working towards something. With a goal you can feel like you are failing. A goal is outcome orientated and specific and can be affected by unforeseen circumstances. Intentions are more flexible and based on what is within your control. An intention can be seen as a filter you put over your experience. A relative direction you are approaching. Whether you choose an intention or a goal, remember “the path is always the heart. Even though the method may change”

Practicing Non-Attachment

Try to feel non-attachment, not just think it, but really feel it. Letting go of attachments to outcomes can be a gateway to contentment. That doesn’t mean every outcome should be seen as positive of even or ok. Whatever outcome emerges, acknowledged it with all subsequent emotions identified, felt, accepted and let go. Removing a sense of a fixed self and the judging mind can open doors you didn’t imagine. Approach it with curiosity. Would you work as hard if you are not attached to outcomes? Experiment while watching your feelings and actions. Attachment to a goal can cause you to miss the joyful things that can show up serendipitously during the process. Stay aware in the moment with ease.

Go Lightly

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me…to throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling…”

— Aldous Huxley, “Island”

New Beginnings

A Warm Day

By Louise Glück

 Today the sun was shining

so my neighbor washed her nightdresses in the river—

she comes home with everything folded in a basket,

beaming, as though her life had just been

lengthened a decade. Cleanliness makes her happy—

it says you can begin again,

the old mistakes needn’t hold you back …

Sometimes all you can think during you daily gratitude practice is “I’m grateful the day is over and tomorrow is another day…. I can begin again.”  Beginning again is filled with optimism. Clinging and aversion is where we suffer. Letting go of what we cling to or what we are angry at is hard. On the other side of letting go is beginning again, which is creative and life affirming.

Covid 19 forces us to find joy in the smallest things. The simplicity of cooking a lunch every day or the feeling of clean sheets against your body at night. Preparing for the change in seasons by moving your tee shirts out of your draws and replacing them with your winter sweaters. Doing things we naturally want to rush through slowly and appreciating them with a sense of spaciousness can give us room for new beginnings.

Comparative Suffering and the Second Arrow

Can you be ok with your pain or are you dismissing it because others suffer more than you? Suppressing or denying your feelings because they are not painful enough can lead to shame. This is known as the second arrow. First you have the pain, then you pile a layer of guilt and shame on top. Ranking your pain and suffering against other’s pain is known as comparative suffering. Thinking “My pain is worse than others” is another form of comparative suffering. Thinking this way also piles on the second arrow of shame. In reality you can hold two thoughts simultaneously, “I recognize the validity of my own suffering as well as the suffering of others.” Empathy is not finite. There is enough to give yourself empathy and to give it to others. Visualize a softening around the edges of your heart, developing loving kindness with yourself so that you can extend compassion outward. Expressing your pain to others is part of the natural and necessary co-regulation of emotions. Most importantly, it opens up a space for others to come to you when they need empathy. 

Finding Meaning in Suffering

How can we find meaning in pain and suffering? It is often helpful to remember that some things happen for no reason and it’s not always our fault. Being stuck in shame and blame will only lead us deeper into the suffering. Finding meaning when we are stuck in the mists of suffering and depression can be difficult. Often controlling the emotions though meditation is the first step. Titrating back and forth between looking deeply at the pain and taking refuge in the breath. Remembering there is safety of the present moment.  Eventually we give up the desire to push the pain away, and are ok with saying “This happened to me,” and letting it wash over us. The work is in connecting with others who hear us and can hold our pain. Meaning may emerge in unexpected places not necessarily related to the suffering. Pain and suffering are universal, but ultimately personal suffering brings out our compassion for others.

Noting Emotions and Communication Choices

Mike lead Dharma Punx  last Sunday with a long meditation and a short reading from “Being Dharma” by Ajahn Chah which sparked a discussion about acknowledging feelings in the moment. We do this during meditation with the practice of ‘noting” or “labeling,” the thought or emotion and then without judgment letting it go and returning to the breath. When we are in conversation with others, this process becomes much more complicated. Members of our group shared their experiences. 

Mike talked about being like a dog, intuitively shaking off the emotion, or learning to process the emotion by using “Right Speech”. Asking yourself: Is this comment helpful? Is it skillful? Is it wholesome? And most importantly being gentle with yourself. Having awareness of awareness, or Metacognition. Thinking about one's thinking. More precisely, Metacognition refers to the processes used to plan, monitor, and assess one's understanding and performance. It includes a critical awareness of a.) one's thinking and b.) learning and oneself as a thinker and learner.

During our group discussion one person talked about how learning noting has helped him to take a pause before reacting impulsively. Another person talked about noting, giving way to a pause, which is followed by an understanding the consequences of his actions, but how he is still struggling with being powerless over his conditioned behavior and impulse to do the unskillful thing. The discussion changed to other people’s communication skills, and a reflection on what to do when someone tells you that “you are being unskillful,” in a totally unskillful way. One solution might be, rather than reacting, let silence be your ally. Still another member of our group talked about being able to feel anger in her body arising while talking to someone, noting it, practicing patience, but only later realizing her anger was in response to the person mansplaining to her. Recognizing that mansplaining is caused by societal conditioning and the female’s perception can also be due to past conditioning. Asking “What is my part in this? and Why is my reaction so severe?” can lead to a different response. Helpful comments were, “Having compassion for the person speaking unskillfully to you can be a way out.” Or if that fails, commenting with humor often works. Such as “You have a brilliant command of the obvious.” One member of our group offered “Why cut the tree down in the first place? The wiser course of action is to observe before you cut it down and try to build a piece of furniture. The work is in observing and understanding, not making the furniture.” 

Our group moved to a discussion about political differences between people. “You can fall into the trap of saying something, hoping for change. But if it’s not going to change the person, don’t waste the energy.” This can be tricky, you might want to engage for a chance at civil disagreement, or a positive outcome of swaying a vote or belief system. It can result in a dynamic relationship to have political conversations with someone who holds opposing beliefs. But finally, you may have to disengage, remembering the quote, “Never wrestle with a pig, you get dirty and the pig enjoys it.”

Processing David Foster Wallace Through a Buddhist Lens

Rob lead DPX last Sunday with a meditation focusing on feelings. He encouraged us to investigate the feelings that come up while we meditate. How and where we feel them in our bodies? Being specific and defining them further by putting shapes and colors to the feelings. After the meditation, one person talked about experiencing feeling uneasiness and experiencing fear behind that unease. Moving into that fear, and then having to back out in order to be safe. Focusing on the breath once again, then gradually moving back into the unease and fear. This is the practice of titration. For further information about titration: http://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=1842

 Rob opened the group discussion by playing a wonderfully humorous and insightful talk by the author David Foster Wallace titled “This is Water.” It was given as the graduating speech to Kenyon college class of 2005. 

 David Foster Wallace explains to us:

“Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe, the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely talk about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness, because it's so socially repulsive, but it's pretty much the same for all of us, deep down. It is our default-setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth.” “It's the automatic, unconscious way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life.” “I'm operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the center of the world and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world's priorities.”

 Wallace concludes that “The world will not discourage you from operating on your default-settings, because the world of men and money and power hums along quite nicely on the fuel of fear and contempt and frustration and craving and the worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom to be lords of our own tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course, there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default-setting, the “rat race”-the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing.

 David Foster Wallace’s speech dovetails nicely with fundamental Buddhist principals which acknowledges how we project our own inherent biases on situations rather than seeing things and people as empty and impermanent. His speech supports compassion and awareness for yourself and others. Sadly, Wallace committed suicide just 3 years after giving this speech. He suffered from depression his whole life. Our group discussion centered around suicide with one person expressing anger that Wallace was not able to practice what he was advocating so eloquently for. Others shared that you can do all the right things, meditating, hanging out with friends, exercise and then in middle age realize that you are not going to be able to defeat your cycle of depression. Wallace had been on meds, later off them, then on them again, and even tried Electroconvulsive Therapy, (ECT), which works for some people but not all. In the end, we recognize and accept that suicide is a hard thing to understand. As Buddhists, we once again come back to embracing “not knowing.”

 David Foster Wallace’s full speech can be watched here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhhC_N6Bm_s

Forgiveness, Faith & Covid 19

Thanks to Beth for leading DPX last Sunday in our new temporary outdoor location. She presented a chart describing the 3 stages of the Covid Pandemic Response, published by the National Institute of Mental Health. The chart is a helpful guide to recognizing the difference between growth, acceptance and basic survival modes. Beth explained that, in an atmosphere of uncertainty and dread we often max out our good and bad coping skills and mechanisms. This can result in agoraphobia or feeling overly sensitive around people. It is important to understand that you may be dipping in and out of the different areas shown on the chart daily or even hourly because our thoughts and moods are impermanent. 

Beth led us in a forgiveness meditation, using the phrases, “Forgive me, I forgive you, I forgive myself” as an anchor to return to when we get lost in thoughts. The meditation generated a discussion about forgiveness. Many commenting that self-forgiveness is the hardest part. People talked about having deep neural pathways of self-criticism. One member revealed that her mind is constantly reviewing previous social situation, trying to discern if she is at fault in any way. This is followed by a process of absolving her guilt. Though seeing her patterns and labeling them “reviewing” while meditating, she has come to realize that it is not her voice criticizing and judging herself, but an old conditioned “part” of her.  (to use a term from the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy) This “part” was conditioned by her mother’s constant criticism and is no longer useful or helpful. With meditation one gets bored with all these unnecessary and unhelpful “parts” that continue to arise in a predictable pattern. Eventually it becomes easier to ignore them or drop them completely. Another helpful tip to reducing self-blame and unnecessary judgement mentioned was finding the inner child. How would you treat a child? Learn to treat yourself with the same kindness you would treat that child. 

Others acknowledge they have trouble forgiving others. Beth quoted Noah Levin saying “You need to forgive everybody. I forgive you in my heart but never again in my house.” Practicing conditional forgiveness by separating internal forgiveness from external forgiveness is helpful. Rob commentated that the irony of anger is, “that you are so angry at a person, you are walking around with a rock in your gut.... and the other person is sitting at a bar having a beer!”

Rob also reminded us that some things are biological. People can have genetic dispositions which make them biologically more sensitive to certain things. The same situation can affect people differently. This explains why some people are strong and resilient in horribly adverse conditions while others end up with symptoms of trauma. Importantly, Beth commented that judging yourself against these strong people can be “just another way to beat yourself up.” 

When the conversation turned back to coping mechanisms, people talked about Facebook and Instagram being a helpful way to stay connected with friends. Joining self-help groups, groups around Corona Virus issues of loss of jobs, how to navigate benefits and groups with similar interests can help you feel like you are not alone and provide useful information. However, Facebook’s algorithms can lead to confirmation bias which can be dangerous with politics, and Facebook can be addictive and overused. But Sam reminded us that “it’s better than nothing”. Mike talked about “letting go of the need to understand everything” and “letting go of expectations… of needing to have results,” and even of “having to feel better.” The level of anxiety is not going to stay. Just let it happen with forgiveness and it will pass.

Finally, doubt, one of the 5 Hinderances was discussed. Name it “doubt,” then add faith and action as a remedy. But what is faith? Barbara commented that “Faith is that 100-year old tree. Faith just comes. It’s not a feeling of happiness, it’s just ok-ness.” Sam concurred, remembering “Faith is the palm trees swaying back and forth in the wind, the only thing that survived the bombing of a city I lived in.” Mike concluded our discussion profoundly saying “Faith is making room for the people that come behind us.”

If Your Life Were A Book?

Thanks to Paul for leading DPX at our first Covid outdoor meet-up location. We did a silent meditation, followed by a reading that Paul presented by Jon Kabat-Zinn from “Wherever You Go There You Are.” It was an excerpt explaining meditation being a path, a way of living in harmony with not knowing where you are going. Kabat-Zinn talks about learning to see clearly where you are on the path right now and not believing to strongly that you know where you are going, because that is grasping which causes suffering. We need to admit that we don’t know they way and be open to help along our path. 

 For discussion Paul asked us to consider, “If your life were a book, what chapter would you be on and what would the title of the book be?" He stated that he is working on not being driven by narrow visions of personal growth and instead learning to be fully open to all the energies at his disposal. He is trying to step up as skillfully and mindfully as he can, approaching an unknown path. 

 One member of our group commented that his book title would be “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, because of the conflict between what he presents externally verses the reality of what he is feeling inside. Or “Don Quixote”, referring to the illusion he lives with.

 Another member said her book title would be “Learning to Let Go.” Because she is trying to not force an outcome, being open to possibilities, accepting being in a space where something might come to fruition…. and it may not be what she had planned.

 Another member talked about “A Random Walk Through Life” learning to take things as they come. Or “Death in the Afternoon” because of all the high-risk activities he used to engage in, but not doesn’t feel the need to do anymore.

 Another member said her book would be called “It doesn’t Get Better That This”, referring to her personal challenge not to grasp or aspire at all, but to completely accept.

 Still another member said her book would be called “Healed !?” Stating that years of hard work, is beginning to pay off.  Developing a daily meditation practice, meeting with regular Buddhist meditation groups, stopping drinking, attending recovery meetings, building communities, finally having full access to appropriate mental health care services, with her struggles to get adequate insurance, years of physical therapy finally healing chronic pain, and amazingly having some financial security due to pandemic unemployment insurance,  as well as finding meaning through a new career path. Everything is coming together to create a state of mind free from C-PSTD symptoms and unresolved grief that has been a black cloud over her for 18 years. 

 Another member titled his book “If It’s Not One Thing…..It’s Another….It’s Always Something. Don’t Wait For It To Be Right.”

 What would your book title be? What chapter are you on currently? 

 That about did it for our meeting. We so enjoyed having Paul visit us again in Boston after his move to Texas.  He will always be in our hearts even if he lives in Texas now!

When Things Fall Apart

Melissa led DPX last Sunday with a body scan meditation that took us through all the sense doors. She then kicked off the discussion with a reading from Pema Chodron’s book, “When Things Fall Apart.” Telling it straight, but always with compassion, Pema says…. Things don’t get resolved, they come together and fall apart. Let there be room for this to happen. We don’t know and we must leave room for not knowing. Disappointments can be a beginning. The spiritual journey is not about getting lasting pleasure with no pain. That is Samsara, grasping and ignorance. Nothing can be counted on for security. We need to learn to stay with the difficult states of mind, the broken heart, the anger, the uncertainty. Staying relaxed in the mists of these difficult states is the spiritual journey, not expecting them to go away.

 In our group discussion we talked about, how we bring our judgements and expectations to a situation, then attach significance, and label it as if it matters. When in truth, nothing is permanent. The suffering comes from clinging our ideas. People in our group talked about their responses to life with Covid. Many felt comforted by knowing we are all in this together struggling with similar situations. Stating that seeing comradery in people all over the world has helped. We are all bottomed out and experiencing something painful at the same time. Similar to life with Covid, members of our group talked about recovery groups that have helped them along their journey by gaining strength and emotional support from shared experience.  Healing through finding commonality with how people begin to overcome enormous grief and loss, and rebuild their lives together.

 Pema Chodron wrote about her need to try to put her life back together after it had fallen apart, as a human instinct and natural desire. But she realized, while putting it back together may seem easier, it’s often is not possible and one needs to move forward not backward. The same configuration doesn’t always work. Each decade we enter brings another challenge for us. Our progression has good and bad cycles. There is a natural aging process marked by life’s stages, so going back is often impossible. Mary reminded us that “With our Buddhist practice, every decade gets better based on the wisdom gained from within.” Brendan aptly stated “Falling apart stems from the misguided assumption that we had it together in the first place. If we don’t have any expectations for our lives to be a certain way, it won’t fall apart.”

Melissa closed our session with an appropriate poem by Emily Dickinson:

We grow accustomed to the Dark —
When light is put away —
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye —

A Moment — We uncertain step
For newness of the night —
Then — fit our Vision to the Dark —
And meet the Road — erect —

And so of larger — Darkness —
Those Evenings of the Brain —
When not a Moon disclose a sign —
Or Star — come out — within —

The Bravest — grope a little —
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead —
But as they learn to see —

Either the Darkness alters —
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight —
And Life steps almost straight.

Relaxing into The Waves

Our group worked together to lead DPX last Sunday with a silent meditation and up an impromptu topic for discussion, brought up Marco, based on the current heat wave we are having and memories if the beach. We talked about how water, waves and beaches can metaphorically reflect the Buddhist dharma and be healing. Marco started us off by commenting on how as you dive deeper and deeper under the water in the ocean, sounds fall away and you find yourself in a different world, which has nothing to do with what is going on above. Brendan very articulately pushed back on this idea, saying conditions on the surface of the water have everything to do with what is going on 100 feet below. Just because we can’t see or hear it doesn’t mean it is not affected by what is happening above. It’s like global warming. We need to pay closer attention. We need to redefine how we understand things.

 Ray talked about the summer rhythm of the large ocean waves brings up issues but then over time, washes them away with their repetitiveness, like the breath in meditation. Commenting that the hearing distant sounds of children playing helps bring you into the moment. During winter walks, the beach brings up the issues so strongly that beach walks can be overwhelming. She finds it safer to walk in the woods where she feels held by the closeness of the surrounding trees and sturdy softness of the ground.

 Sam, an avid body surfer on both coasts, said he has been using the visualization of a wave while meditating for years. Visualizing the wave building on the inbreath and breaking on the outbreath. He quoted Bruce Lee saying that “waves are dynamic because they are simultaneously hard and fluid.” (Then we all promptly agreed that we would like to invite Bruce Lee to join DPX!) Sam shared his experience saying “you can be out in the ocean and see the shore, but you can’t return to the shore without the wave. A wave can have great power over you, so you need to let go. You can’t panic, you can’t resist. You need to harmonize with the wave, relax into the moment and let go in order to get back to shore with the help of the wave.” 

 He noted that “Where the water meets the sand is known as the littoral zone. A chemical reaction takes place there with the interaction between the salt in the water and the mica in the sand, yielding ozone which is a natural antidepressant.

 Marco mentioned the impermanence of sand castles and the beautiful metaphor they contain.  Similar to the Tibetan sand mandalas, which take days to create with sustained work by many monks, only to be immediately and purposefully destroyed to demonstrate non-attachment and impermanence.

 Mike mention practicing Tonglen with a sick friend using the wave imagery following the inbreath and out breath. The feeling of or lives being insignificant in light of the vastness of the sea, leads us to realize our own impermanence and death. 

 Melissa brought up the artwork of artist Andy Goldsworthy, who’s art is created with nature in the landscape. His work is beautiful but temporary, as nature eventually takes it over. Cristo, another profoundly moving artist, who’s installations in public spaces can make you feel completely transformed in an environment you are normally familiar with. Other artists we discussed were Richard Long and Hamish Fulton. Both artists use walking as a method of creation that is momentary, impermanent, active, and visceral and most importantly, not part of production or consumption. The artist known as Stelarc was discussed for his radical use the body as the work of art itself. There is no separation of art and ourselves. We are constantly being modeled and sculpted in this changing body and mind.

 Sam’s, definition of aging: “The physical result of resistance to change” says it all. So enjoy yourselves at the beach this summer, channel your open heart, go with the flow, let go and surf a wave. Sit in the lattoral zone and soak up the ozone, build an elaborate sand castle and let the waves take it away. Be in the moment. Stay young.